solitude as an antidote to loneliness
We live in a world with infinite loneliness and zero solitude…
Because our phones are constantly pulling us away from ourselves.
Loneliness is the feeling of sadness, isolation, and disconnection we feel when we want to connect with others but somehow feel an invisible wall blocking us from that connection.
Sometimes you can be sitting right next to your partner, spouse, friends, or children, watching a show together but not actually feeling connected, and that makes the loneliness worse.
In this modern day I meet so many people that are feeling constant anxiety. this general sense of anxiety and depression permeates each moment and blocks people from feeling true connection, increasing the sense of loneliness.
People stare into their phones for looking for meaning, purpose, dopamine, and distraction…
And little by little people forget how to feel ok just as they are.
There is an antidote to this type of modern loneliness…
It’s a bit of a “rip the bandaid off” approach.
It starts with shutting off your phone and tv. and saying to yourself, “I’m going to connect with myself… with my soul… the part of me that is somehow connected to the everything.”
Then you grab a drink of water.
Then you go for a walk in nature.
And you continue this until you actually feel your mind getting calm. (If you don’t notice a shift in your mind after an hour of walking in nature you may want to seek the help of a qualified meditation teacher)
When your mind finally get’s quiet you have a little conversation with yourself…
You don’t talk about the weather, or politics, or the news… you don’t talk about celebrity gossip, the latest netflix series, or the most yummy food you recently ate…
Instead you ask yourself some simple questions about life:
“What really matters to me?”
“What do I know to be true?”
“Am I living in harmony with my true nature?”
“What should I do next to live harmoniously?”
just asking these questions can bring you into a deep meditative state that some call “sati” or mindfulness. the Taoists call it the cultivation of “de” or virtue.
But the important thing to note is that this state of mind is driven by:
Letting go of seeking fulfillment from others or cheap dopamine from your phone.
Getting into a natural state through connecting with nature.
Asking yourself deep questions about the meaning of life. Things that really matter put everything else into perspective.
When you start to live this way your inner world becomes more interesting, and you can begin a true spiritual journey. When you are on a spiritual path then life is much less lonely, as you are pursuing a true connection with everyone and everything.
If you are interested in this sort of experience please consider joining me on my next retreat.